August 23rd, 2023

The beginnings of a love letter...

Words could never truly express...but still I'll try.

From the moment of our meeting, I have recognized the impact of every one of our interactions.  They have been warm, comforting, powerful and intimate.  Throughout the years, you have never made me feel alone in your presence but instead have made me believe that I was the only girl in the room.  When I've been afraid, you've held me close.  When I've been bold, you've been my biggest supporter.  Every time I call you, you show up.  Even when I've gone missing and been a terrible friend, you stood there in the waiting, anticipating my return.  A love like yours...is truly once in a lifetime.  

Confidante, protector, provider, keeper, teacher, father, brother, husband, friend.  You're my shoulder to lean on, my wisdom to count on, my call in the middle of the night and my first go-to with the morning light.  If I had words to describe the solidity of your presence, I would try.  I cannot...searching...searching...done.

You are the safe space in the middle of chaos.  Stability when the world is falling.  Breath when fear is gripping and peace when the storm is yet to subside.  I feel like I've walked with you a million times and yet, there's something new I find every time we're together.  There's literally no substitute for you in my life.  You have changed me in ways that I can only try to express.  You know every intimate detail about me and you accept me with the most glorious unconditional love.  You have placed value upon me, even in my inadequacies.  You have found me worthy of your time and investment...as if YOU, of all people, can count on me.  I know this.  I feel it.  I recognize the weight of it but somehow, it is absent of the fear of failure.  Instead, I am motivated, empowered and excited to please. 

You have found me in broken places and have taken each piece of me, nursed me, put me back together and perfected me, stronger than before. You replace, renew, refresh, revive and restore.  You have become my overflowing cup of water in the middle of a heat wave.  

My source, my shelter, my cover from the storm.  My strong place when everything around me is sinking.  And not only in my hard places, you reign in my strength.  Every gift, every calling, every good day reflects you in the most amazing way.  When others see something in me, it is you.  Your mark, your touch...the residue of your presence in my life.  

Without you, I am undone.  Without your love, I am lonely, insecure and wandering in lust.  I am afraid of dark nights and intimidated by the future.  But YOUR hand on me, causes me to rest even in hard places.  To trust.  To look ahead without fear of the tomorrows.  It gives me support to face the impossible.  Ha!  You don't take the reigns...you teach me and empower me to move in your grace and goodness.  You show me the power that you have placed in me, through you, and encourage me, excite me to use it.  You are the most incredible leader.  I am enticed to follow you anywhere you lead.  

Enthralled in your goodness, invited to your glory.  The waves of your supernatural wash over me and take away my shame.  You invite me to walk closely beside you, sit in your presence and receive your Words.  I am proud to be your student and yet, humbled by my seat at your table. Never tired of your teaching...it is my forever food.  Filled by you.  "Tell me more", my soul cries,  "Open my eyes, let me see!"  Daily changed.  Challenged.  The worst parts of me changed to emulate your perfection.  Divine direction.  A reflection.  Grace.

Oh God, my soul cries out.  From the depths of me, I find you.  In every place, broken and undone, I am pieced together in purpose.  The remains of me are divinely complete.  Who can make beauty from ashes?  Only those who learn from You.  Creatively attuned to your touch.  

I could try to find the words to tell you, but I would eternally miss the mark.  Because YOU...You are more than words can find.  You are utterly, wholly Divine.  "Holy.  Holy.  Holy", I must cry.  The angels are awe-struck and I can see why.  You stand alone...majestic in your beauty, perfect in your power.  I can't get enough...never enough of you.  Morning, noon, night- Let me bask in your light.  Even the shadow of your presence overwhelms me with your joy.  It strengthens me and calms every storm.  None like you.  None like you.  None like you! None.  Lover of my soul...peace profound.  You astound me with your presence.  I am undone.  

The beginnings of my love letter to you.  Forever indebted.  You are perpetually good to me.  My heart overflows with all my love only, solely, devoted to you.  King, you have proven that to me, you are EVERYTHING.  Every slow dance, every quiet word, every moment of worship, every exuberant praise, every walk through the valley, every victorious place.  One thing remains, I keep falling in love with you.  Eternally, in love with you.